I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
