I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
