Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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