You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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