We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
