I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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