A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
