Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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