she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
