so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
