I don't think brook has ever known best
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
