I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
