I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
