whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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