i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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