i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm passing your future prison.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just blew my weed a kiss
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize