the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
