If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Are we still banned from the library?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
