Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
