We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
