i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
