he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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