he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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