turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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