You made me cry and you don't even care
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
