His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
