Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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