I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
