Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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