doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
