thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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