I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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