OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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