She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
