omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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