You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
