Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
