you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
