Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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