somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
