I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
