Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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