Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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