I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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