Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
don't judge my taste in strippers
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
