ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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