That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
