I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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