You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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