I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
