I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
