No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
