this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
