Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
